


If I Die Young

by LinaBenliven



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Confirmed Lovers: A Shadam/Adashi Zine, Kerberos Mission, Light Angst, M/M, Past Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Post-Break Up, Sad Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 02:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18907450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaBenliven/pseuds/LinaBenliven
Summary: Shiro had always know how he would die, which is why being thrown into a gladiator pit prompts such a sudden reflection of his life and why he had made certain choices.





	If I Die Young

**Author's Note:**

> This is my piece for the Confirmed Lovers Adashi Zine. I absolutely loved writing this and exploring the slightly more angsty side of their relationship.

Takashi Shirogane had always known that he would die young. The disease that was eating away at his body had made sure that he knew that that was the case ever since he could remember.  Countless hospital and doctor appointments well into his late teens reminding him just in case he ever forgot the death sentence that hung over his head like a glowing beacon.

He had tried to escape that beacon during his time at the Galaxy Garrison. He had made friends and tried to leave his mark there by making as many new records as possible. Whether those were flight records in the simulator or pranks with Matt and Keith, Shiro always treasured the memories he made. 

He wanted to be remembered when he did die because of what he had done, not because he had done it while fighting a disease. He had never wanted any pity from people. That’s why he had become friends with loud Matt and blunt Keith. They never minced their words around him. They never pitied him. They made sure he was treated the same as everyone else and that’s all that Shiro ever wanted.

Yes, he had picked out exactly what he wanted at his funeral. He wanted a cremation ceremony and his ashes scattered over the flower garden he had first visited with Adam, with white lilies marking where they had been spread. Yes, he had prepared himself and everyone he ever got close to for the fact that he would likely die before he turned thirty, but he didn’t want that to be his identity.

He was more than his illness. He was Takashi Shirogane. A brilliant pilot, a cocky man, a prankster and a member of the LGBT community. He had friends that loved him for him, and a fiancé that adored him.

_ Well, an ex-fiancé that had adored him. _

Adam had been wonderful to him. He had understood everything about Shiro’s illness. He had helped Shiro in the mornings when his muscles were so tense that he could barely move them. He had found food that was high in the vitamins that he needed to ingest more of.

Yes, he treated him different to how Matt and Keith treated him but Shiro had always put that down to the fact that Adam wasn’t just his friend. Adam had been his lover, they had been intimate together and had been planning to move in together.

_ But Shiro had been the one to mess that up. _

Shiro had been the one that had insisted that he go on the mission to Kerberos. He had merely wanted to go into space one last time before it was too late. He had just wanted to have one final chance at his dream before he became too sick to achieve it.

Matt and Keith had both understood that. They hadn’t even questioned his rationale for wanting to go, and when Shiro had explained why he wanted to go they had both said that had they been in his position – they would have done the same. They had understood and Shiro had expected Adam to be the same.

_ He hadn’t been though. _

Looking back on it now, Shiro knows that all Adam had wanted was to marry him and live out that last of Shiro’s time together. Shiro had wanted that too, he just wanted his dream as well and he didn’t understand why Adam couldn’t see that too.

And that was how two months before the launch to Kerberos they had split up. Shiro had moved his things out of Adam’s dorm room and moved in with Matt to keep his spirits up. He had put the breakup at the back of his mind then and focused solely on the training for the mission, ignoring the lack of weight on his finger. 

Commander Holt had kept him busy as well during their flight to Kerberos and during the initial work they had done there. So, Shiro hadn’t even had time to think about Adam since they had left Earth.

But now that he was stranded on an alien ship and facing certain death in what looked like a gladiator pit; those thoughts were at the front of his brain. They were swirling in his brain and all he could think about was how he had so many things he had wanted to do before he died.

He had wanted to marry Adam and take him on a honeymoon. He had wanted to meet Adam’s family and learn all of their embarrassing stories about the man he loved. He had wanted to teach at the Galaxy Garrison alongside Adam for as long as his health would allow him too. He had wanted to make sure the next generation were prepared for space travel. He had wanted to see Keith thrive and eventually make it onto his own space mission. He had wanted to see Matt lead a mission like his father had.

The thought of missing out on any of those things made Shiro’s heart ache. He had known that he would never be able to do or get everything that he had wanted but he had always imagined that he would get more time to prepare for the inevitable. That he would get to say a goodbye that wasn’t in a hurried whisper to Matt surrounded by aliens. That he would get to say goodbye to Keith rather than the young man having to accept he was gone from what the Galaxy Garrison had told him.

Yes, Takashi Shirogane had known he would die young, but he had always imagined that it would happen on Earth. That it would happen peacefully in his sleep. That he would be cremated surrounded by his friends. That he would get the chance to say goodbye to his loved ones. 

He had always been so certain that he was going to die as a result of his illness. He had never imagined that it would happen on an alien warship and that he had died to protect his friend. 

But as he heads into the gladiator pit; he can’t imagine a better way to go.


End file.
